We are floating around on this ornate and over-flowing with bountiful blessings-- mud ball, suspended in God actually knows where. Try to actually find that location on a map but here we are and there are so many energies flying around it's hard not to feel them.
Today we experienced a annular solar eclipse an also a new moon in the lovely sign of Libra. And bonus! It's also my birthday! What did I do today? Exactly what I wanted; relaxed. I have relaxed, nurtured myself and spend time with 2 of my favorite people and a 3rd favorite person will be dropping in for a short visit shortly.
It is the first birthday where there is no arsehole hiding in the shadows, waiting to ruin my special little celebration of birth. My phone has been quiet and rid of pesky, unkind humans and I absolutely love it! Blocking and removing people from my life has essentially become an extreme sport in my world. I put up with too much for too long (my fault) and now I simply won't anymore. I saw the sad reality that these pesky, unkind people wanted nothing with me, other than to feed off of the (foolish) love I had for them. No, this isn't my hurt talking-- I'm all healed up with regard to these sort, it really was the cold hard truth. I've seen it as it was, accepted it and removed myself from their lives. I knew I made the right decision when I began feeling happy and lighter again.
It's sad to realize that the people that were meant to love you, actually went out of their way to harm you, it causes you to ask yourself, "what the hell kind of love was I taught as a child, if this is normal?" Wholly shit. The illusion fell to the ground and shattered; lo and behold, I saw all of them. All the roaches and leeches and parasites in my life. I had to decide, do I risk it and keep them around because if I toss in massive bug bombs (remove all those people) there will be no one left.
Here I am. I threw in the bug bomb. Quiet phone, quiet life... just me, my kids and my dad is the only close relative I have. I speak to a few others here and there. But right now, this is how my life needs to be, until I feel moved to allow someone in.
There are 2 kinds of people that want to enter into your life, please, if there is anything from this blog that you remember today, it is this.
There are 2 kinds of people. First are the ones that want to come in, hear all your stories, see everything that you have and what you do and assess who you are--- so they can judge it ALL. They want to see if they're better than you, if they have it all together more than you do, they want to know if they're more in control of life than you are. Even when you do something amazing, it isn't enough. You will become their new scapegoat and target for all their unprocessed bullshit. These people need a tremendous amount of help and will not go get it until their pain becomes more overwhelming than their fear of seeing how dark and nasty and messy they really are. (we all are until we sit with our busted stuff and learn why it's there) These people will not love you, they just want whatever they can get from you. Oh hey, its not that they don't share or gift or do good (believe me, they will remind you again and again of how kind/good/nice they are) No, that's the confusing part, at times they will indeed pour into the connection but it will be so hit or miss that the connection will either feel really lousy or just confusing.
Now--- the good stuff. The people will want to come in; learn about who you are, ask questions in order to learn, understand, love, appreciate and sit beside you through this phase of your life. They will respect your boundaries. They will respect the way you are managing and handling your own life and you will honor and respect theirs as well. They will understand that just because they have access to you, isn't an open invitation for throwing opinions and advice at you that you never asked for. There will be a level of trust, respect and maturity within the connection that will endure through difficulties and even disagreements. Underneath it all though, will be a rich kind of love. The kind of love that this world does not advertise because this world knows not of it. These people exist. And we are growing in number every single day, as we drop from the clutches of disillusionment and free fall into the hands of the All and Everything--- which is the ever-flowing movement and coordinated chaos of life. These are representatives of love. There is an equal share in everything here but no one keeps score, love and life with one another-- simply and purely; Is. And its utterly perfect.
These revelations were all made possible over the last few years, combing through and removing or allowing to fall away whatever was meant to leave. I am here, where there is love and nothing less.
May you enjoy your day as much or more than I have enjoyed this day. xx
Happy Birthday to me :)
Comments