When we don't judge things as good or bad but regard them as a part of the experience, it frames life differently.
I have chosen to reframe a lot in my life and have found underneath the pain that once lived in those spaces, was in fact a great deal of wisdom and peace amidst the ever-changing tides of life.
There is but only 1 thing to be relied upon in life, it is change. Life is not static but constant movement, as we are movement because we are energy. All things are energy. Everything is animated via pulses, vibrations and waves. Even the things that look as though they are stationary, at some base levels are also moving.
What are events but an occurrence, which we assign meaning and emotion to? To be human is to experience life and feel a myriad of emotion, but suffering is not necessary to embody living in all of its facets.
We have created these systems of measurement it would seem, in order to differentiate this between that, then to determine which is good and which is bad. Good and bad breeds suffering.
If I have an experience that I had simply determined was a part of my human experience and saw it as a part of the natural experience of life, I learn from it. If I then share my experience with a friend and they assign a negative value to my experience, I begin to feel poorly about myself and my experience, thus igniting unrest within me. And if like most humans, we begin to apply this new measuring stick to the rest of our lives, determining this or that experience as good or bad, whereas before, it was just a part of being human.
Calling an experience, simply an experience isn't dismissing it or making it acceptable. There is much treatment and behavior that is unacceptable or intolerable. But I personally have benefitted from releasing attachment to my experiences in life and scaling them back to simply being a part of the dance, even if it was soul shatteringly painful.
I didn't separate from the experience or run from the pain. Aw no, I sat with it, as long as I needed to and did my best to not force myself to "just move along." I allowed it to wash over me like an old worn blanket that desperately desired to tuck me in for a long sleep, I allowed it to for a time but when I knew I nursed everything out of the experience with it, it was time to find my strength again and press on.
Sometimes it is a necessary thing to allow the tides of sorrow and pain to wash over us. It almost has a cleansing and cathartic quality to it. It works its way well into the depths and if we allow it to, the pain with excavate the other sorrows that we fought to bury and with itself, will give leave to the past pain. We don't want that stuff stored in there, it's just as tangible as a scowl on your face but it resonates with fellow humans in a vastly different way.
If we are able to separate from the meaning we are inclined to assign to our experiences, we are able to move through them more comfortably and heal. When we heal, we heal our relationships and when we heal our relationships, we heal other humans. And when other humans are healing, the world begins to change. No one else's journey here is our responsibility. Their healing journey is theirs alone! Don't forget that. But the responsibility we have, is to show up as ourselves and take personal responsibility for ourselves and our contribution here. Attachment to everything can get terribly heavy, quickly. So if you want to keep moving though life, my suggestion is to work on releasing attachment.
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